It takes time to be ok with being ok. After being so down for so long, I don’t know how to enjoy being ok. It’s a weird feeling, and it’s somewhat uncomfortable.
There’s freedom that I haven’t known for a long time. Sometimes it’s troublesome because I’m not comfortable. God is taking me out of my comfort zone. He’s brought me out of troubled waters and placed me in a meadow of fresh green grass that allows me to keep growing in Him.
I can’t explain what it’s like to be ok. It’s scary. It’s foreign. There are days where I want to run back to what’s comfortable, but I can’t do that. God has brought me too far. He’s shown me there is more coming that is greater than I could ever imagine. To run backwards is to not trust him. “Don’t allow yourself to fall into a dark place,” a friend said to me. Every time I feel myself slipping those are the words I hear.
I have prayed for God to give me strong women in Christ that I can go to for help, guidance. I have been surrounded by love. There is pain in letting go, but there is more freedom than I thought was ever imaginable. To let go is to be free. I’m not just talking about being bound down and in a dark place. I’m talking about enjoying life while I’m single. Travel the world, go from coast to coast, meet new people but most importantly, fall more in love with God everyday.
Enjoy the twenty-something life. You only get it for nine years!