Everyone seems to come up with them. Getting fit, eating right, spending more time with family – while those are some of the best things anyone can do, mine isn’t as common. Although, I am sure I am not the only one who has told themselves what I have been telling myself – I will overcome this anxiety that haunts me daily. I will be greater than any fear I face. I will be the best I can possibly be and not be limited.
I’m getting married in less than a year. I can’t please everyone. I tell myself, this is my wedding. This is my day. It will be everything you have dreamed it to be. But, in my irrational yet somewhat rational thinking I know it’s not going to be exactly perfect.
People have a right to their opinion, but not to direct my wedding. I’ve seen so many posts about what it takes to be happy. One of the most common is learning to stop being a people pleaser. This is going to be a challenge, but my future husband deserves to know that I can stand firm, stand up for what we have wanted. Anxiety wispers in my ear that I can’t possibly say no to anyone. They’ll hate you.
After this week, I don’t really care who does or does not like the way I do things. I have to accept the things I cannot change. I can’t change what others think should or shouldn’t be. But, I can be direct about what is and what isn’t going to occur.
My New Years resolution is to overcome the anxiety that has caused me to vomit these past couple weeks. It’s to overcome the monster that hides under my bed and causes a lack of sleep. It’s to learn how to say no. It’s to actually live.