It’s the second semester of my college career, and nothing excites me more than being able to write about what I am passionate about.
Sitting in my English class this morning, I realized that the research paper I want to write is going to open up my eyes to something more than just a degree; just a piece of paper with a level of intelligence written in fancy letters. It’s a paper that is going to focus highly on the needs that children are craving all over the world. I’m looking through all the requirements for different schools and where I want to go. It’s overwhelming as the list of courses keeps growing, but they are important!
I often think to myself that there is so much more that I could be doing, but then I remember that it’s not my time yet. In Ecclesiastes there is a passage about having a time for everything. Times to mourn, be happy, weep, cry and everything else. I’m putting in the effort now and my heart keeps growing for children who need someone to save them.
I remember the challenges my mom faced when I was a child – an abusive boyfriend, three kids around the same age and money tight. Pancakes are my favorite, but according to my mom, when I was a child all we could afford was pancake mix and apparently I hated them. Playing with him was the worst thing. Tickle fights weren’t tickle fights as I was losing air and strength being held down to the ground waiting for mom to save me. The walls in that house felt like prison – like I was never going to be able to leave. Those are the things I remember. Though it doesn’t sound like much, as a child it was everything more than unbearable.
I am just like every other person. I face my battles, and I lose them sometimes. That does not make me ineligible. It makes me human. The challenges I face with fear of abandonment, failure, depression, anxiety and all my other insecurities is the heart of stepping into a child’s life who needs saving grace. The children who need superheroes to fly in at the perfect moment and save them from anything that is harming their future is what I am being asked to do. Though at times it will be tough, it is nothing that God won’t help me handle. He didn’t ask me to do it because I was able, He asked me because he can see my heart, and He sees the pain I have carried and want to take from the children who suffer.
I am here as a follower of Jesus Christ only trying to be obedient in what I have been called to do. I am not here as someone who is worried about the money this career will make or the risks I have to take. The pastor at the church I attend spells faith ‘r.i.s.k.’ and that’s how my life is going to be taking care of the children who step in my path.
Faith is spelled R-I-S-K.