“Lalala lalala, if he can hold this world he can hold this moment.”
Driving with my brother today I realized that there is never going to be another moment like this where he will want me to take him to Purple Penguin, a frozen yogurt shop, when he is older. He looks at me like I have it all figured out, and he can get whatever he wants because I have never let him down before.
He can come to me when he gets hurt, needs someone to snuggle with or just wants to tell me about the random rock collection he has put together. In a moment that seems so perfect, I realized that soon he will be moving hundreds of miles away from me.
I feel like that’s my relationship with God right now; hundreds of miles away. I don’t have my life all figured out, but I can’t imagine if it were to get worse. Though I may not be in a good emotional state, I know what needs to be done. I need to look up just like my baby brother looks up to me. I need to listen to God for advice and comfort; open the Word and interpret it instead of just read it.
Listening to a song on the way to get my paycheck I realized that no matter what the moment is, God can hold it. I need to fix my eyes back on the Sparrow. He’s keeping alive, and He’s holding me in the midst of anything. I’ve been dealing with anxiety for the past three days. Nothing is worse than waking up and realizing that you are trapped inside your own mind. It’s rather scary that a person’s mind can control so much of their life. Having more than three attacks in three days is really upsetting and fearful.
My eyes are off focus, and it’s time to readjust. God can hold anything I go through.