Driving home from work tonight I was playing the same old station with the same songs that repeat over and over again. However, there was a song that came on that I had not heard in a while and a line in that song says, “This is your life. Are you who you want to be?” It got me thinking.
My life is chaos. I work non stop. I’m repairing damaged relationships and building new ones in the making. I’m up from sunrise to midnight just surviving. After a while, my life starts to spin in circles, and I’m standing still in the middle of it all.
Trying to be everything all at once really makes me lose my mind. Sometimes I need a break. Maybe I won’t sing for a month, maybe I won’t paint the bathroom, maybe I’ll keep to myself for a while – there is nothing wrong with that. Time is running out. As time flies, so does my heart. I’m so busy all the time that I often become grumpy and irritable. I’m losing patience, love, and grace. That’s not who I want to be!
As I begin to sit down and think about a sermon that I heard this morning, I’m starting to realize my life has a long way to go before it’s healed. The guilt that I carry and the sin I fall into have got to go! I don’t want to be the reason why people don’t want to be Christian. Christians are weak and unreliable. That’s not who I want to be! I want to be so on fire that people actually want to be a Christian, a follower of Christ. Love and understanding is the only way to approach someone.
I am not here to gain the world and lose my soul.