Yup. That’s me pretty much all the time.
Relations and different conversations about one thing or the other are ridiculous. I’m currently losing a fight between what is right and what is wrong. I’m battling having the strength to continue being strong. Part of me wants to shut down completely and push people out of my life slowly, but part of me wants to keep everyone held so tight.
It’s often stated that sometimes hanging on creates more damage than letting go. Can you imagine climbing the mountain with a partner helping you and they say, “Trust me. Let go of the rope. I have got you latched to lower you down.” Meanwhile, your hands are breaking out with a burn because the rope is slipping and you just can’t seem to let go.
It’s similar to Peter’s story about trusting Jesus to lead him on the water. The mountain I’m facing requires a lot of strength emotionally and spiritually. Honestly, I don’t know if I can handle both. Music has a way with words that speak to me, and whatever God has planned, let it be so. My heart knows what’s right. It’s my mind that needs convincing.
It’s not always depression. It’s not always anxiety. Sometimes it’s learning how to be an adult and move forward with life! It’s one of the highest mountains I’ve faced so far. I don’t want to fail anymore. I will never be perfect, but I strongly desire to lead a life in which I never gave up hope.
Is the rope worth holding onto? Is the strain of one thing or the other too much to let go? My shoulders are heavy, and it’s not from the stress. Something deep down inside knows it’s time to call the shots for my life.
I‘m letting go of the rope. The mountain I’m climbing will be moved and will no longer stand in my way!