Weary & Restless

My mind will not be quiet tonight. No matter what I try: a song, a phone call, or even repeating the word “sleep” to myself – it’s not working. 

I’m weary from trying to continue to be strong for myself. I’m restless as I toss and turn and wonder if I’m going to get the rest I need to pull a double shift tomorrow – or even get up out of my bed. 

In Matthew 11:28 Jesus says, “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.The constant business of my life is spinning me in circles. I’m afraid of relapsing into something I fought so hard to get out of. 

My burdens are too much to bear. I’m heavy. My shoulders are tense, and the thought of sleep sounds so good – if I could. Instead I write this in hope that I can recognize how this is beneficial to my well being. Being alone on nights like these are the worst because you start to think that no one would care if you just stopped talking, showing up for work, being in public, going to church. Really, people would care. 

The thought of “I wonder who would call me if I didn’t use my phone or Facebook or any other type of communication device for a while” crosses my mind. I’m laying here wondering why I can’t just pick up the phone and call someone just to talk to until I fall asleep. But I can. Jesus said to come to him. 

Though I’m tired and my body is worn out, I can still continue to do everyday life. 

Life goes on, and so do I. 

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