In a two days I will be on my own. It’s a rather exciting anxious feeling to know I will be alone in a house that is mine. That sounds so weird to me.
Because I have never been in a situation where I pay rent to live on my own, I find it difficult to imagine what I will be doing. It’s not so difficult that I know I will be working like a mad woman, but I do that already. I’m sitting here looking at the boxes that fill my room and I’m thinking to myself, “What about the living room? the spare? and my cat?” Yes, I am concerned about my cat. He’ll be fine though. He gets his own space!
I’ve never had anything that was my “own.” Talking with my mom the other day she said, “My first place was a crappy apartment, but I thought it was awesome.” And here’s why this place is like a mansion to me: it is mine. A creative project, a lesson, and reassurance that I can survive on my own.
Even though I have been stressing over this house for weeks painting it and making it livable, I must admit every ounce of it is worth it. It is absolutely amazing to me that this is happening. Life certainly has been no piece of cake these past few months, and now I know that it’s time for me to branch out and take on the world…even if it does mean that I am doing it by myself. Sometimes a person just needs to have some space to themselves.
So, does this cause at least some anxiety? More than is imaginable. But, 2 Timothy says that God did not give us a spirit of fear. I believe that God will provide for me and take care of me. He hasn’t failed me yet, nor will he ever. Stomach aches and a tight chest are tiny compared to what God has coming my way. I love that this is happening, and I am excited for what the future holds!