Sometimes we feel so small compared to the storm that is pouring in our lives.
Personally, I’ve learned the hard way to let God control my life. I’m still learning. The waves in my storm are constantly crashing down on me. Most of the time I fall flat on my face and I victimize myself. “Why God, why me?” Instead of running to him and saying, “God I just got hit by the ocean and I feel like I’m falling way down under.”
I miss some people being a part of my life. However, I did that to myself. There is pain in letting go and there is healing. Although that is a paradox, once you learn the hard way, it’s quite difficult to not trust that God isn’t there.
Now, as I prepare to lead a song during worship I am constantly watching what is going on around me and inside me. I will admit that starting to lead in music again makes me very vulnerable to be attacked by the enemy. I have fallen many many times when I began to lead, and now I know why. Allowing God to have complete control of my life makes this easier because I know he fights for me and he fights with me.
I don’t often tell my story to the public (i.e., church, school, work). One morning as I was getting ready for work I was listening to the iTunes radio on the Christian station. Normally, the same songs play over and over. On this particular morning I was struggling just to face the day. I was so focused on what was going wrong in my life that I forgot why I was actually here. I am called to deeper waters because I am His. Walk on Waves by Austen and Lindsey Adamec is such a powerful song. I may be crashing, but just as Peter was stepping onto the water in a raging storm becoming fearful of the wind, Jesus caught him. He asked why he had such little faith. Why do we have such little faith and focus on the storm instead of the one who can save us from the storm? Matthew 14, I’m constantly surrounded by a sea of doubt. My anxiety ensures that. As time draws closer, I know I have one constant love to run to. It’s time I walk on the waves and focus on Jesus.