“Suck it up.”

Three words could never make more angry than these.

It’s not a matter of being able to “suck it up.” It’s a matter of being able to get up and shower in the morning and survive throughout the day. It’s something I live with and it won’t just disappear. If it was possible for me not to feel like this, then trust me, I would not!! I didn’t choose this. It came on it’s own.

What’s the difference between living with it and only going through a phase?

It never ends.

The laughter in the background makes me cringe. I’m so self conscious and it’s ridiculous to even think that. But, my anxiety tells me, “They’re laughing at the way you wear your apron. Your hair is a mess and ugly. And your makeup, please.” These are the thoughts an anxious person thinks but on a more intense level. It’s like missing a step on a steep stair well and your heart falls out of your chest. Only this, this is like a life or death situation. I’m not being dramatic as I casually put my apron up and quickly go hide in a bathroom stall at work. Would you rather me vomit on you? I didn’t think so. However, it’s not always vomiting. Sometimes it’s just an upset stomach or a headache, but it’s a flight or fight response that is currently being treated. “Suck it up.” It doesn’t sound so easy now.

Jesus knows all about this. If he didn’t, would He be able to help you?

All your paths are made straight. You have a full suit of armor if you choose to wear it everyday. The belt of truth and the shield of faith are the tools in this fight. All of them are important, but when truth is revealed and everything seems like it’s falling apart, it’s really not. God is protecting. Keep the faith and don’t give up!

The Sword of the Spirit. The major tool used to convict and teach. This is ultimately what will get you through!!!! Do not give up!!

And remember Romans 8.

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