I’m too protective.

Here goes nothing.

My best friend and I were extremely close two years ago.

The first time we met I was invited by a group of girls to go to a movie and coffee afterwards. Strangely enough, she wasn’t the girl who invited me. The girl who invited me doesn’t come around much anymore. But, that’s a different topic all in itself.

We spent so much time together. From coffee dates to dinner out on the town we were always together and having a good time.

When I left for the Air Force my heart was literally crushed because I was leaving her.

Three weeks later I returned because my anxiety and depression had the ability to get me discharged. I didn’t want to talk to her. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Eventually, I came back around to my normal self, or what was close.

It was months before we went out again. I took my time. In the process I was hurting her and I didn’t even realize it. I loved her like she was my sister, and hurting her like this hurt me.

August came, and I didn’t realize how much she was hurting. She wasn’t upset with anything I had done, but she had her own life problems going on that I knew nothing about. I received a phone call one morning at 2 a.m. Figuring out how far down she was crushed me. I wanted nothing but for her to be happy.

I will never forget that night and what I did to her.

Because I still struggled severely with anxiety, I couldn’t be around her. My stomach could not handle the stress. Meanwhile, her other friend who was there in the process completely blocked her out and didn’t talk to her. I had done the same thing, but being rude and inconsiderate wasn’t how I was going to handle this situation. I loved her more than she knew.

November we went out. I struggled a lot with being able to be there for her when I couldn’t be there for myself. I was falling apart.

I was so protective over her. Now, we are rebuilding what we thought we had lost.

There is nothing that God cannot restore. It doesn’t matter if it is a friendship or a career, God works all things out for those who love Him according to His will.

Keep your head up!


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