We all have our days where it seems like we’re not going to make it through. One year ago that was me. I thought that my life was over. My career failed and I didn’t have anywhere else to go except the Lord. But, I didn’t do that.
Instead, I took matters into my own hands and faced many challenges of getting back up and starting over. I thought I should become a radiologist, but that quickly changed in July of 2015. God got a good firm grip on my life and I have felt as if I was crawling in the mud and I couldn’t get out! I learned real quick that stubbornness is a quality I possess very well.
During that time I went through many emotional ups and downs. From my best friend being admitted to the hospital to not having the help I needed to keep myself together, I was a mess. I started counseling for a few weeks, and then my mom decided that I needed to go somewhere else. That alone shook me because I was perfectly fine where I was, and I trusted who I was talking to. However, I listened to my mom. After all, Mom does know best, right? In this case, no. I started seeing someone in December. Three weeks later I was “good to go” and I wasn’t better. I had just gotten better had acting like I was okay.
I am not blaming my mom for anything. She did only what she thought was best. I am saying that because I am so independent and know what I want in life that I often butt heads with her. I stopped going to counseling until early March of 2016. I reached out to the counselor that I was seeing before and she sent me to someone else because she respected that my mom did not want me to see her for counseling.
March sessions came and challenged me to start thinking positively. Because of this challenge I allowed myself to fall. My birthday is in April, and around that time I had started new medication to lift my mood so I could actually have the motivation to attend the counseling sessions and workout what I needed to. The weekend of my birthday we went to Myrtle Beach. On accident, I missed a dose of my medication and rapidly spiraled downward. Thursday of that next week I was sitting in the ER due to consuming a larger amount of medication than should have been.
Where was Jesus in all of this? My relationship with my mom was already crumbled, and now it only worse. I upset my dad which made me more upset. And, in the middle of all that mess I still had people who wanted to be there by my side and be my support. I had a boyfriend who cared about me enough to hug on me and love me.
I cannot stop people from acting the way they do. I can, however, focus on my actions and how I react. Setting these boundaries is beneficial and healthy even when it feels like you are drowning in mud. I conquered what I thought was going to kill me. Don’t let whatever it is hold you back from loving Christ and running to Him!!!!!!!
Here is a verse to help you get through this mud run! Acts 20:24. It may seem you can’t get through it, but believe me when I say that Jesus is at the finish line cheering you on!!!!