Allow me to start from the beginning – 7 years ago. I was 13 years old and just started going to my first high school of three that I attended. It was very challenging to adjust to change and find people who accepted military brats. I wanted to give up completely. I didn’t have any friends or family other than my mom, sister, and little brother. So, to cope with everything that was going on, I began to write in a journal. I love writing out my thoughts and getting them out of my head; it’s freeing.
I wrote for many months until my mom found my notebook while being kind and cleaning up my room for me. Unfortunately, it didn’t end well. I remember that day exactly and from that moment on I never spoke of my emotions or showed them. I masked my feelings from the world and from my family. I didn’t get the help I needed then and now I am here writing this to give you hope. You are not alone.
Fast forward two years. I was 16 years old. I was attending my third high school and I struggled with my depression even more. Instead of writing my thoughts out and getting them on paper, I let them out on my body. My body was the paper and my jagged edge was the pen. I am 20 years old now. I have been clean since November 29, 2015. Some people will tell you it’s impossible to recover, but those people do not know the love of Christ.
Flashback to March 31, 2015. I decided I wanted to be like my dad and join the Air Force. Obviously, that was not God’s plan as I am sitting in my house thinking about my shift tomorrow night as a waitress just trying to get by. I spent 3 weeks at training, and I was discharged because I had anxiety and depression. My body could not physically handle the stress I was under. Spiritual spankings sure will get the job done! Since I have been home, I have been trying to find the help I need. Now, a year and 1 month later, I have found the help I need.
In this blog, I will be starting from the beginning and moving foward so there is an understanding of what it is I have been dealing with. My prayer for you is that you learn that you are not alone and that Christ is your ultimate go to.
I write this now to show you that there is light in every situation. Do not give up. Christ has you wrapped so tightly even though He may feel distant. Romans 8 is a reason to not give up! I encourage you to dive into Christ and seek him out! You are more than a conqueror!